I am a fifty six year old woman who is grappling with a dilemna. Depression, substance abuse, low self esteem, dysfunctional relationships, just to name a few, haveperplexed me my entire life. Now, at fifty six, I am scrambling for a way up, and out. I am intelligent, although don't have much in the work experience area due to the obvious, stated above. I've attempted college, university, and nearly pulled it off! Except for having to withdraw from all my classes, to care for my partner jimmy, while he battled bladder cancer with chemo, then chemo again with radiaation added-five days a week.. Well, the only positive thing I had in my life for nearly all my life--was quickly nipped in the bud. Now, there is a slim chance that I can finish my degree because I haave to have fin. aid. and withdrawing while on fin. aid, puts a huge crimp in mypossibility of getting the holds lifted!
So, here I am, what do I do? I feel like I can't take this life any more. Were it not for my son, and gransdon, I would have pulled the plug already. When one's life is disproportionaltly more depression and despair, overpowering any sense of hope or achievement, well, what's it worth?
I cry and cry, and feel like I am at the bottom of the barrel. Not a new concept or feeling for me. But, now, it's much worse, and more often.